posted 2010-03-10 10:28:43
Well nothing has really changed. I thought it did but once again nope. My hope for getting out of this fuck part of the state is quickly starting to fade. I wanted to leave in the worse way. I want to be gone. I do not fit in here and I honestly would rather work a Wal-Mart then continue here in this part of the state.
What a fucking joke I have become, or maybe I have always been this way and just didn't know it until I got here. In any case there is nothing I can do anymore about it. I have tried to fix it, make myself better, change myself so other people would like me, and all it has done is make me feel like crap. What a joke I am.
My so called friends, yea that is another big joke that I can say I am done with. I don't want to have anything to do with them anymore. I am done with that bullshit. They are now co-workers and nothing more. I will not hang out with them, or do anything outside of school with them unless I have to. Fuck them...... I have learned by lesson and refuse to be their fucking kicking bag anymore for there shitty lifes. Spring Break is coming up and I am glad. I have two day and I am not coming back to this fucking place until I have to.
M is coming down this weekend and I am glad. At least I can stop thinking about all this shit. I just got to make it though the next 2.5 days and then I am free for a week.
I have got to get by depression meds changed. They are not working anymore....it fucking sucks.