jessyka:
posted 2012-02-08 23:14:19
So, I applied for another position at work. A higher one, making more money. I doubt I'll get it, but I'm putting my name out there anyways, so that'll look good.
Guess we'll see.
waterproof: Cool
posted 2012-02-08 19:23:39
I'm gonna be a dad.
reply by waterproof
BamBamBigelow:
posted 2012-02-08 15:24:41
one thing i've told myself never to do is to shut someone out who's making a legitimate plea or excuse. don't you just hate it when a man who knows he may be wrong simply stares ahead without blinking, trying his best to pretend he doesn't understand or hear what is being said to him? what sick pleasure can a person get out of unjustly assuming that all conclusions but his own are wrong and do not deserve to be heard? what a disrespectful thing. when a person just pathetically shuts down in such a manner and decides they will not be moved to hear or understand, it's a horrible sight. the most terrible part is knowing that no matter what, this person will hold the injustice against you for as long as they live as long as they choose to remain closed to all inquiry but their own. stubborn is not the word. it's worse than that. my vocabulary isn't large enough to capture some of the repugnant mannerisms of some of the people whose cruelty and stubborn ignorance has been burned into my brain. i wish i could just forget about it and just move on, but no matter how hard i try, a few incidents just keep poking their way into my brain. only self-annihilation will solve this kind of grief, and by self-annihilation, i don't mean suicide. i mean a state a being where mental, psychological and emotional needs do not require external coaxing and eventually cease to be once and for all, resulting in peace of mind.
schlut:
posted 2012-02-08 13:05:36
still a lot of feelings..
i just want honesty, respect, and happiness for everyone.
and i got my story way wrong..
i was the beater. not the beaten.
who smacks someone with a trash can?
me, apparently.
never drinking jager again.
i just wanna know.. everything. but that's impossible.
i miss.. things. mostly being loved. i miss that feeling..
LoudSilence:
posted 2012-02-08 11:02:27
SO! I'm done! I graduated last Thursday. Thank jebus! So far it doesnt register to me....but oh well i dont care. Now i need to work! Going to go apply tomorrow like crazy.
Things at home....i cant wait until it gets better than what it is now! Especially when im making money again!
Nickel/Iron:
posted 2012-02-08 11:00:19
Worked on the house for... well, 10 maybe 11 hours yesterday. Finished up priming some of the new trim under the work lights in the dark.
Did a lot of sanding, so when we got home to the yelling (there is usually yelling) i was covered in dust, had it in my hair, eyes, clothes, etc. Split pea soup, it was good. Nowhere to sit, as for some reason the hoarding has gotten worse. Dunno why. One of granddad's neighbors back in the old neighborhood in maryland died (Doc Davis) and a lot of his stuff flowed back to our place.
I went to bed without showering, out light a light. Dead tired.
Woke up to the usual soft shuffling rustling noises that mean grandad is on the move, at about 7:00. I was about to get up and put him back in bed when the screaming started. When I don't wake up to grandad, I usually wake up to screaming and yelling, so this was okay. I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.
Evidently, it turned out that in addition to the magnesium citrate he'd had last night, and proceeded to drop a deuce that looked like Michael Vick's forearm-how one little old man can do such a thing, i'll never know- he'd gotten up around four, and drank a whole bottle of milk of magnesia. And then spent the whole pre-dawn gloaming shitstorming everything in sight while we slept.
So, anyhow, I'm glad to be at work.
FreedomFromMyself:
posted 2012-02-08 06:16:39
Waking up before the sun rises is one thing, but waking up while the moon is still up and bright is a much different thing.
Especially when you've gone to bed after midnight!
monkeys:
posted 2012-02-07 23:20:34
My friends routinely break my heart. I need to get this woman out of my life once and for all. She is a fucking cancer.
reply by Nickel/Iron
reply by monkeys
mrevilbreakfast:
posted 2012-02-07 22:00:36
The last couple of days I've been in a good mood, which is inexplicable on paper. I am not doing well at all financially, need a job, am very close to the end of my over-mileage lease on my car, etc. But yesterday I was in a great mood and it carried over into this morning, which is good because I went out and worked very hard to get work somewhere out there.
Just before I left I got an email from GH, telling me that she was no longer at the bank that we were employed by. Just a brief message about it. I sent her a reply saying "they like to do that sort of thing." Funny, it's almost exactly a year since I got let go myself.
This is encouraging because I never saw her in the audience during the run of my last show, which she said she was interested in seeing.
Now here's where the interesting stuff comes in... you know the whole thing about smell being the sense linked the closest to memory? I am currently being reminded of her in other forms... the light in the sky is the same as when we were going out, I have been hearing our songs on TV/Radio/my iPod, stuff like that. When I'm not paying attention... I think I can smell her perfume or her hand lotion. I know that probably sounds weird, but it's like my brain is trying to peice the puzzle back together and it's remembering that smell. Just faintly, on the tip of my nose, it's there. If I close my eyes it's like she's just out of reach.
caterpillar:
posted 2012-02-07 08:28:42
felt reasonable today. feels really good to feel normal.
a bunch of us went on a very nice hike in the local mountains on saturday. silver actually came along the whole way, despite being sedentary and overweight and weak-jointed - i was really pleased. i also got to chat with two women friends, the girlfriends of fellow programmer-friends, and that was good too, to talk knowing that you won't be pounced on.
the mountains are wonderful here. they have a kind of vegetation that is very familiar to me, mostly water-conserving shrubby plants but with trees along the creeks. they are adapted to frequent forest fires, which is neat. it is warm and sunny in the mountains but usually not too hot.
.
anyway, i've recovered from the bad days caused by work. it turns out to be a type of bad that silver understands well - even just in the past couple days, he had a similar situation where people got unreasonably angry at him. he has grown an admirably thick skin about it.
these users are very strange - they get very angry and refuse to listen to reason. their online social circles reward being nasty as a form of coolness and status. a lack of thoughtfulness.
.
i finished a blog post orange had wanted me to finish editing. also felt good to publish it. turned out to not be so hard, of course, but editing requires being in a certain kind of good mood.
had an amusing interaction with orange. he likes to push the boundaries of our friendship a bit, see how much he can talk about saucy things with me. i keep telling each new story to silver both to entertain him and to verify that he is ok with these things, and silver simply finds these things entertaining.
.
silver called his parents today and had a rather frustrating conversation with his mom - he just wanted to see if it would be nice if we visited her during a stopover in their city on an upcoming trip, but it got into a mess of her saying "don't inconvenience yourself by visiting" in ways that didn't clearly indicate what her actual goals and feelings were, even after repeated questions, and similar miscommunications. he seemed to really appreciate me being there to quietly listen to this ridiculousness and then talk about it with him afterward.
reply by havalina
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